


Idiocy is as Idiocy Does

by CharmedGirl3892



Series: They Messed With the Wrong Girl [4]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awesome Shuri (Marvel), Civil War Team Iron Man, Female Tony Stark, Gen, Not Steve Friendly, Press Statements, Team Not As Family, not team Cap friendly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26456209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharmedGirl3892/pseuds/CharmedGirl3892
Summary: When Steve releases his press release, he thought it would change the tune of the aftermath to his favor, to eventually bring his team home. He had no idea how wrong he was.
Relationships: Steve Rogers and Team Cap, Tony Stark and Team Iron Man
Series: They Messed With the Wrong Girl [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/998982
Comments: 286
Kudos: 742





	1. The Uncompromised and Unbiased Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is! I'm sorry it took so long, I really had a hard time getting into Steve's mindset, hope you guys like what I did. I'm also really sorry it seems so short for a first chapter but I wanted to get it out as soon as I could.
> 
> Once again thank you to all those who read, bookmark, subscribe and/or review this story, it really always brings a smile to my face. 
> 
> I will try to have the next chapter up soon but it might take a week or more, I am having a minor surgery on Thursday and one of the downsides is I really can't be on my computer for a few days, if I can the day after I will try to answer reviews and such. But since I am taking a bit of time off of work to recover I might have a bit of spare time.

“Are you sure I look alright?” Steve questioned Nat as she looked him over one last time appraisingly. Clint scoffed and turned his head from where he was perched on the couch.

“For the hundredth time, Cap.” He groaned exasperated. “You look, great, the perfect all-American Boy Scout.” Steve gave a chuckle at the archer’s joke.

“Funny.” He then took a deep breathe “Okay, I’m ready.” He told Nat. she nodded, and Sam stood in front of him passing him his statement.

“Steve… are you sure we aren’t going to be making a further enemy of Stark with this statement?” He asked hesitantly. Steve shook his head and grasped the other man on his shoulder.

“The people need to know the truth. I care about Toni, but this has gone on far enough.” Sam nodded and stepped back as Nat counted him down. Steve gave the camera his best “Performing Monkey” smile.

“Good Morning, I’m Steve Rogers, Captain America and I am here to clear the air on all this Civil War nonsense.” He began, best to be blunt on what he was talking about.

“First off, I know the world is concerned about the state of things, I’m sure most of you are all concerned about us, the heroes who have been wrongfully persecuted for only standing up for our freedom. But rest assured we still stand for the people and for what’s best for them, should a situation arise where we are needed, we will be there regardless.”

“The Avengers were made based on the ideal to fight the battles others never could. We proved that in the Battle of New York, and later in the fight against Ultron. The Accords are a document dressed up in fancy words and packaging for the government to hide its true purpose. To collar the Avengers and make them nothing more than glorified attack dogs for the government.” Here he frowned and made sure his face took on a serious tone to convey that this was no joke.

“We exist to fight the battles no normal man could, and due to that we have to be above governments, the safest hands are still our own. Margaret “Peggy” Carter, the woman I loved and still love with all my being who was also the greatest spy to exist, once said, “Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move, it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in the eye, and say, ‘No, you move.’ Rest assured this is the Avengers telling every corrupted government official like Thaddeus Ross who have never been out of the office, who have never been on the front lines, to move. That we will keep fighting for the people.” Now on to the hardest part of the broadcast.

“It was this document that split the Avengers down the middle, along with the man known as Zemo’s plan to permanently fracture us. He orchestrated the bombing at the Accords Signing, framing the Winter Soldier, Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes who had spent sixty years as a slave to Hydra. Armed men were sent to kill Bucky in Romania and he and I were forced to defend ourselves against them and eventually King T’Challa of Wakanda. Had he been left alone, no one would have gotten hurt and the tunnel would not have collapsed. Later Zemo infiltrated the headquarters in Berlin to trigger the Winter Soldier for information about the location of five other Winter Soldiers HYDRA had created. We knew he had to be stopped but the Accords were not to be trusted with people like Secretary of State Thaddeus Ross at the helm. So we decided to call upon those we trusted, unfortunately the Avengers who had signed the Accords, under the command of Iron Woman were sent after us. We fought and after Natasha Romanoff, aka the Black Widow saw the error of the corrupt documents and went against them. I’m sorry to say that due to the other side refusing to back down, Colonel Rhodes was injured in the ensuing chase. I wish him nothing but a speedy recovery. Following that the rest of my team was apprehended and illegally and inhumanly held at the RAFT prison.”

“Now even though we were outmanned Bucky- Sergeant Barnes and I, knew we had to stop the threat to the world. Toni Stark, Iron Woman arrived to assist us. But soon after she turned against us and attacked Bucky, an innocent man and I was forced to subdue her.” He glared slightly at the camera almost seeing the piercing green eyes of the brunette, eyes that sometimes haunted him.

“When we left her to cool off, she was fine. This whole coma nonsense is a farce that has quite frankly gone on long enough. She was never hurt severely enough for that to happen and if she thinks she will get anywhere with this childish tantrum, then she isn’t the woman I thought she was. We may be a team but it seems she will need to be reminded of what that means. I wish that I, that we could be there to answer all the questions you, the people we fight for seem to have but I have high hopes that the wrongs that caused us to flee before will be righted and we can return home soon. Thank you.” Nat quickly stopped recording and typed a few keys.

“Uploading now.” She smiled brightly. “You did good, Cap.”

“That’ll teach that bitch!” Clint cheered pumping his fist in the air.

“And show the world how wrong she truly is.” Wanda promised darkly.

“And hopefully bring us home.” Sam added. Steve nodded.

“It will, I can feel it. This will change everything.” He told them confidently.

And while he was right in a way, he had no idea how wrong he also was.


	2. Reactions to an Idiot- US

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our US based characters attempt to react to Steve's bizarre press release in a dignified manner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry this chapter took a while longer than expected, my surgery went well but the recovery was a bit slower than I anticipated. I would have started this last week but I had family visiting and celebrating my birthday with both sides of my family as well. But I am fine and ready to continue where we left off with our crew of heroes and ex-heroes. 
> 
> As usual, thank you to all those who read, bookmark, kudos, subscribe and/or review this story. As well as thank you for your well wishes during my recovery.

San Francisco

Hank felt as if he had just been struck in the head with the pure amount of crazy, he had just witnessed being broadcasted.

_‘This is the person Scott chose to hitch his wagon to? And I thought the guy was smart.’_

“And I thought your ex couldn’t be **_more_** of an idiot.” Jim Paxton muttered to the shell-shocked Maggie.

Hank turned to his guests who had showed up on his doorstep looking for Hope. They had seen the footage of the airport when it had first been released and two weeks later, someone from VistaCorp had identified Scott in a comment on the World Wide News website. Since then Maggie and Jim had faced harassment at work and online. **_That_** the two could deal with, but most recently **_Cassie_** had been the victim of a lesser form at her summer camp and Maggie had snapped. She had been in the midst of yelling at Hank when the press release Rogers had uploaded been played on the news. Hank quickly texted Hope to call him as soon as she could.

“ ** _I’ll kill him_**.” Maggie hissed. “I’ll kill him and bury the body deep in the desert.” Jim nodded and squeezed her shoulders.

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that, Honey.” He quipped. Hank ran a hand over his face and turned to the couple in front of him.

“Why don’t you two and Cassie move in here while we see if we can find a solution to this predicament, we have found ourselves in.” The two shared a glance before agreeing.

New York- Queens

“ ** _That fucking douchebag_**!” May screamed as she and Peter were heating up leftovers from their dinner at Stark Tower. They had bonded with the inhabitants so much that they now had a standing invite to Friday night dinners. May also had a coffee date scheduled with Pepper, Christine, and Helen for the next morning.

“ ** _Aunt May_**!” Peter exclaimed slightly appalled and slightly proud of his aunt. She shrugged.

“He is! And he’s an idiot to boot. He is aware that medical records are a thing, right?” Peter shrugged.

“I don’t think he even thought about it. When I fought him he seemed a bit full of himself and his superiority.” Peter had done a lot of thinking about that fight in the recent weeks and now saw that Rogers only cared about winning, not even caring who he hurt. If they were in his way he would take them out of his way by any means necessary.

New York- Hell’s Kitchen

“Okay, when you take first punch, you need to leave him partially conscience.” Jess informed Danny as they all sat for lunch at the Chinese place.

“As long as we leave something for Evie, I think she’s going to want to bash his head in with that shield.” Danny consented. Luke raised an eyebrow.

“Toni’s middle name is Evelyn.” Danny supplied. “People close to her and who she lets, calls her Evie.”

“And I’m guessing she told you to call her that?” Matt inquired. Danny nodded beaming. “Feel good?”

“To have one of my best friends back and starting to become closer? Yeah it does.”

“You think, Miss Potts will let me sue him?” Matt asked as the waitress served their dumplings.

“You can ask her Thursday when we go to the accords meeting with Froggy.” Luke pointed out.

“What are you going to sue him for? I’m fairly sure being a nuisance to society and a **_general dick_** is still legal.” Jess grumbled. Matt thought for moment.

“You think if I dress it up in pretty and complicated words, I can get away with it?” The group burst out into laughter at this.

New York- Stark Tower

“ ** _What_** did we just watch?” Daisy asked after the broadcast.

“I… I need to bleach my eyes.” Laura groaned. Everett nodded.

“I think I may have brain damage.” Moira threw in.

“I mean it wasn’t… I’m sure… no I can’t find anything to say on this.” Happy muttered.

“I might just **_vomit_**.” Pepper pipped up.

“Right behind you.” Christine stage whispered.

“I think I just lost an IQ point or **_ten_**.” Evie said.

“ _Seggfej_.” Isaac mumbled behind her.

“ _Ne engedje, hogy hozzád érjen_.” She responded taking his hand and turning to face him.

“ _Nem tehetek róla. Hallottad, mi jött ki a száján_?” She raised an eyebrow.

“ _Igen, két évig éltem vele_.” Daniel cleared his throat causing everyone to turn to him.

“Not that seeing you two like this together isn’t endearing or bring up fond memories but did that bastard just use you my wife’s name and a quote from her taken completely out of context?!” He raged.

“Yeah, he left out like the first half of the quote.” Evie realized.

“I’m going to shoot him.” Daniel griped.

“Right behind you, Uncle Daniel.” Isaac told him.

“Me too.” Rhodey threw in.

“I find that I would also like to do this as well.” Vision admitted. As more and of their makeshift family began to throw their hats in Evie held up her hand.

“Okay ** _, hold it_**!” She exclaimed. “ ** _No one_** is shooting him, or fighting him, or **_disemboweling_** him. Jeez Pep, medieval much?” The redhead shrugged. “For the love of science this is a society. And furthermore, that bastard isn’t worth it, we aren’t stooping to his level. He’ll get what he deserves in a court of law. Which reminds me.” She walked over to the counter and pulled out the letter and phone handing them to Everett. “This might be useful in the future.” Everett read the letter and tucked it into his suit jacket when his partner reached for it.

“Yeah, I’m not letting you read this, buddy.”

“How bad can it be?”

“It’s bad, son.” Mr. Rhodes supplied.

“We should go, we have a report to file.” Everett announced glancing at his watch. Evie squeezed the hand she was still holding.

“I’ll see you, Friday?” He nodded and pressed his lips to her cheek.

“Friday.” He promised. After a round of handshakes and goodbyes, the two left the penthouse. Evie looked around and found everyone staring at her in a mixture of bemused expressions.

“ ** _Shut up_**!” She ordered before a word could be said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the tea! Next chapter we return to Wakanda and Bucky will have some choice words for Steve and Shuri will make an interesting choice. I'll start working on that hopefully in the next few days. But in the meantime...
> 
> What did you think? Like it? Love it? Questions? Sugestions?
> 
> You all know what to do, REVIEW!
> 
> Until next time, Ciao!
> 
> Translations:   
> Seggfej- Asshole
> 
> Ne engedje, hogy hozzád érjen- Don't let him get to you
> 
> Nem tehetek róla. Hallottad, mi jött ki a száján- I can't help it. Did you hear what came out of his mouth
> 
> Igen, két évig éltem vele- Yeah, I lived with it for two years


	3. Wakandan Screaming Mathces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky confronts Steve about the video laying in some hard truths, while Shuri does the same with her brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And.... We're back! I feel really proud of this chapter, I hope I gave you all what you wanted. 
> 
> The next and last chapter will be more public reactions via social media, if anyone has some ideas for handle names please leave a suggestion in a review, I'm kind of stumped and would appreciate your ideas.
> 
> Once again thank you to all those who read, bookmark, kudos, subscribe and/or review this story, it always makes me happy to hear your thoughts.

_“I wish that I, that we could be there to answer all the questions you, the people we fight for seem to have but I have high hopes that the wrongs that caused us to flee before will be righted and we can return home soon. Thank you.”_ Bucky’s mouth dropped open in horror as the video finally ended. He had been in the middle of a run when the video had uploaded so he had not seen it until after he had returned and heard Steve and the others discussing it.

 _‘This is worse than I thought’_ He mused before anger overtook him. And not anger for himself or Steve or his team, for the woman Steve had just effectively spit on. **_Toni Stark_**.

“Steve!” He called out into the living area. Steve quickly came running the door shutting behind him. Bucky quickly strode over locked it.

“What is it, Buck? What’s wrong?” Steve asked concern quickly overtaking his features. Was it the Winter Soldier? Was it another memory of the past coming back? Was it-

**_Bam!_ **

Bucky’s metal fist connected with his jaw. Steve hit the ground hard as pain blossomed in his almost broken mouth. His hand came up to rub the area as he examined his panting friend. He didn’t have the blank look he normally had when the Soldier took over.

“Bucky?! **_What_** was that for?” He asked slowing rising to his feet.

“What the hell where you thinking, ya Punk?!” He demanded rage still simmering so hard throughout his being that he had to clench his fist. “Uploading that video?”

“The people need to know the **_truth_** Buck, that we are still fighting for them. That their being misled by corrupt politicians.” Steve explained. Bucky fought the urge to roll his eyes.

“What about being misled by **_you_**?” Steve sputtered in shock at the accusation. “You didn’t tell them the truth about Siberia. That Zemo had already killed the other soldiers. Or that Stark didn’t turn against us without a good reason.”

“That wasn’t a good reason, that was Toni being a petty, spoiled **_brat_**!” Steve spat back. How could a woman who claimed to be **_so_** smart, be so idiotic most of the times was beyond him. Honestly Steve thought it was her ego in already having everything else. Money, power, and beauty. She just had to think she was the complete package. No wonder she was still single.

“Steve, I killed her **_parents,_** which you failed to mention. Hell, I would have attacked me too.” Bucky reasoned. Steve shook his head and took on a defiant stance.

“That wasn’t you, Buck!” He practically yelled. “The world doesn’t need to know that; all they need to know is that she attacked an innocent man.”

“She attacked **_you_** first, Stevie.” Bucky hissed. “For apparently lying, and then because of sentiment or so, I raised a weapon in defense when I should have surrendered.” Bucky shook his head and shoved past him to go the door. This was useless, it was like talking to a brick wall. “Steve, Hydra had files on all of you and only **_one_** of you was labeled strictly Do Not Engage.” He faced his “friend”. “Antoinette Evelyn Stark was a woman they were afraid of crossing. She rained hell down on the Ten Rings after they held her captive. That is the woman they called The **_Mistress of Death_** for a long time. And now you are waging a war with her.” With that Bucky exited his room and headed for the door to the wing they had been housed in. He nodded respectively to the Dora guarding the other side when she answered his knock.

“Yes?”

“I’d like to speak with, the King immediately if I could.” He had a conscience to ease if only a little bit.

*****

“What did you **_think_** would happen if you gave them access to the outside world?” Shuri screamed at her brother.

“I don’t know! Not this!” T’Challa told her throwing his hands up in the air as he paced the room. Ramonda looked between her two children choosing to let them duke it out. Sometimes the best thing a mother could do was stand aside and let them figure out their problems themselves.

“Oh, that will be a good excuse for the United Nations and Dr. Stark.” Shuri laughed. “Do you know what he just did, Brother? Not only did he spit on Wakanda by blaming you partially for the tunnel incident, but he gave a giant middle finger to the world and then on top of it, he practically declared war on one of the most powerful women on Earth!”

“That’s taking it a bit too far, isn’t it?” T’Challa tried to counter even though he knew it was futile.

“What do you think after he accused her of lying about her coma?!” Shuri screamed almost ready to attack her brother. A knock sounded just as the Queen Mother was considering stepping in. Ayo poked her head in.

“I apologize for interrupting my King, but Sergeant Barnes is requesting to speak with you. He says it is urgent, it regards the recent broadcast your… **_guests_** had sent out.” T’Challa looked at his sister who groaned.

“Go ahead.” She told him hoisting herself to sit on the table. The young king nodded to the Dora who quickly escorted Bucky in.

“Sergeant Barnes, you remember my mother, Queen Ramonda and my sister, Princess Shuri?” T’Challa reintroduced. Bucky nodded and respectfully bowed.

“Yes, thank you for meeting me.”

“What is this about, Sergeant?” Ramonda asked noticing the man’s tense posture.

“The broadcast, Steve put out. It’s not true.”

“How so?”

“I killed Howard and Maria Stark.” Bucky admitted. Shuri gasped and T’Challa’s mouth dropped open.

“ ** _What_**?” He demanded. Bucky nodded.

“Years ago, I was ordered by one of my Hydra handlers to carry out a hit on Howard Stark, he was in possession of a version of the super soldier serum and Hydra wanted it. They used it to make the Winter Soldier Core. The hit also ordered there to be no survivors.” Ramonda’s hand flew to her mouth in shock.

“That girl was only **_twelve_** when that incident occurred.” Her heart ached for a little girl losing her parents.

“Zemo found out, after he got the information from me he went to Siberia and executed the other soldiers while waiting for us, and in the bunker, he showed Toni Stark a video of the hit. Steve knew, I think since at least the fall of SHIELD, and he lied when she asked the first time. After he admitted it, she hit him and I- don’t know, I raised my rifle in defense of him. Then it all went to **_hell_**. Steve finished her off by slamming his shield into her chest.” Shuri stiffened.

“That shield is made of pure vibranium. And if he rammed it into her at full super soldier strength…”

“ ** _No one_** should have been able to survive that.” Okoye finally spoke up from the corner next to Ayo. Ramonda noticed her son was growing pale.

“Son.” She placed a hand on his shoulder.

“This is a disaster.” He muttered.

 _‘You are just figuring that out **now**?’_ Shuri thought acidly. The king turned to his sibling.

“Is there anyway that Rogers accidently revealed their location in the video?” Shuri shook her head.

“I examined it myself, the only people who would recognize anything are Wakandans.” She then squared her shoulders. “However, that does not mean that it can’t be back traced if someone had the proper motivation and I can think of one woman who might now.” She narrowed her eyes at her brother to emphasize her point.

“Can you secure it?”

“I can try, but honestly, I don’t really have the motivation to do so now. I told you **_once_** , fix this, or you wouldn’t like the consequences.” With that and her head held high, Shuri marched for the doors. “And one other thing, I am going to attend the UN meeting this Wednesday on behalf of Wakanda. I think the best thing to do now is you to focus on your blunders and someone else to handle our foreign affairs. Sergeant Barnes, if you would follow me, I’d like to have a few words with you.” With that she left the room for her labs pondering what to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well? How was it?
> 
> Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Suggestions? 
> 
> You know what to do, leave a review!
> 
> Next chapter will be posted soon in the next two weeks hopefully.
> 
> Until then, Ciao!

**Author's Note:**

> Well there we go, I feel a little icky after all that time writing as Steve, ugh. Hopefully it'll be a while before I have to relive that delusion. But anyways, did you enjoy it?
> 
> Questions?
> 
> Comments?
> 
> Suggestions?
> 
> Leave a review and let me know! 
> 
> Next chapter will be the US based reactions (specifically Evie's team and allies)  
> Ciao!


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